NYC

After our fun few days in D.C. we headed up to New York via the Bolt Bus. Benny was so nice to take us to our stop in a sketch part of Baltimore far too early in the morning. 4 hours and $28 dollars later, we were in the middle of New York City! Not a bad deal.

We checked our bags at the New Yorker and headed on our way. I can't remember what we did on which days, so I'll give the break down in no particular order.

 The bull

 At the top of the Empire State Building. We had this cool/nerdy audio tour that told us about the different boroughs.

 Peter with his favorite painting, "Starry night". Despite his face, he says this was one of his very favorite parts our trip.

 

 While we were waiting for our cruise around the lower part of Manhattan, we saw this giant anchor and boat.

 I'm sure you can guess who took the pictures of the sailboats.

At the top of the Rockefeller Center.

 Doughnut Plant in Chelsea

 Falafel from a street vendor

 Carnegie Deli

 Junior's Cheesecake in Times Square

 Street hotdogs



Grimaldi's Pizza

 The new Freedom Tower

 The Museum of Natural History
 
Times Square

The Brooklyn Bridge- this bridge was probably my very favorite part of NYC this time around. I'm so glad we took the time to walk across it.

We went to Newsies one night and I had a permagrin the entire time. It was just so fun. I think Peter liked it, too.

One funny story from New York, well, it's funny now. We stayed at a hotel out by the LaGuardia Airport because it was so much less expensive than staying in the city. I had an app on my phone that told us exactly which trains to take to get where we wanted to go. On the first night, we picked up our stuff around 10 pm from the New Yorker and started to make our way to the hotel. We got off where it said we should but we couldn't find the connecting train anywhere. The area we were seemed a bit sketch, not good lighting at all. And, I just started crying. I felt like such a failure because I had planned everything and we were totally lost. This nice man saw that we looked lost and he stopped to help us. He called a cab company for us and stayed with us until the cab came. It was so kind. It did end up working out well because we ended up giving a Book of Mormon to the cab driver after he told us about his wife who is a member. It was a good missionary experience.

We saw so much when we went to New York. When I went in high school, I just went along for the ride and stuck to all the touristy things. While we did a lot of tourist things this time, we also spent time in some of the neighborhoods, which I really enjoyed. Brooklyn was super charming and I also really enjoyed going to the Highline Park. We went through Central Park and basically just walked all over. We like to pack it in on our vacations, and I feel like this one was super successful!

**Somehow, this didn't get posted, so here it is. For journaling purposes.

Boy or Girl?

I love the idea of waiting to find out what gender your baby is until he or she is born, but I couldn't do it this time. Perhaps another pregnancy. 

I was going to be 20 weeks when we were to be in Monroe for Peter's family reunion, so I called to see if they would do my anatomy ultrasound a week early. They said they would. Unfortunately, they didn't have a time that worked for Peter to come, so we decided that we would have them write the gender on a piece of paper and seal it in an envelope so we could find out together.

The ultrasound was really cool because my doctor has them done by a perinatologist, so he is really knowledgeable about all the intricacies of the developing baby. Once he found out I was a nurse in the NICU, he got excited and started explaining everything in even more detail. It was so interesting. Baby already has one more organ than Mom; two kidneys! He had me look away while he checked out the gender, just in case it was really obvious. 

I decided to take the envelope to Dick's Bakery and have them make a cake with colored frosting in the middle, either pink or blue. Most of our family was busy that night, but Spencer and the kids came over while we cut the cake. 

We are so excited to welcome a little boy to our family at the beginning of December!

Happy April Fool's Day

I took a pregnancy test on March 26th, 4 weeks after my miscarriage and it was negative. Every day that my period didn't show up after that, I talked myself out of taking another test. I convinced myself that my cycle was thrown off from the miscarriage. That worked for about 5 days. 

I took another test on April 1st. The timing was funny, but I couldn't handle waiting anymore. I took it while Peter was at work. I was thinking that if it was negative, I just wouldn't even tell him about it. But, really, I would have told him about it either way. I didn't look at the test for over half an hour because I was convinced that it was negative and I didn't want to face it. I was so shocked when I saw that it was positive. I was so excited, of course, but also much more cautiously excited. 

I decided to wait and tell Peter in person when he got home from work. He usually runs right upstairs to change out of his slacks and button up shirt, so I left the test in plain sight in the bathroom, knowing he would discover it just minutes after getting home. Of course, this time, he sat down at the bar and talked to me while I prepared dinner. He finally went upstairs about half an hour after getting home. I heard his run up the stairs and his run right back down. He couldn't believe it. He was so excited as well. He couldn't believe that I had been able to keep it a secret for so long. We knelt and thanked our Heavenly Father for the opportunity to be pregnant again so soon and blessed this baby that it would stay with us and we would be able to start our family here on earth.

The BEST pictures from graduation

I couldn't post the best pictures from graduation before, but now that I'm 27 weeks, here they are!

We found out that I was pregnant again on April 1st. Yes, on April Fools Day. Melissa knew I was pregnant, so her husband took the second picture and we let my other nursing friends know when we took the last picture. They were so cute and excited for us!

Graduation

I can hardly believe it, but I really did it. I graduated from college. Being a college graduate is a goal I've had for as long as I can remember and it feels strange to check that off the list.

It's interesting to look back on my college career and see all the changes that took place along the way.
I attended BYU, SLCC and the University of Utah as a college student, but I have credits from Weber and Utah State that I earned in high school.
I had 3 different declared majors: Broadcast Journalism, Athletic Training, and finally, Nursing.

It's funny how life all works out as I had decided I wanted to be a neo-natal nurse from about 7th grade on. Let it be known that I had no idea what that even was, but here I am, able to start my career as a NICU nurse. 

 Love these girls. We became friends right off. Melissa, Jessica, Becca and me.

 But, I love this guy even more. 

 Our whole class.

 Adding Mikyla, Liana and Austin. The front rowers just in front of us.

And, the parents. Love these guys. I'm so grateful they taught me to value education.

Best last day of school, EVER!

Wednesday was my last day of school. As mentioned previously, I had two tests, which both resulted in A's for their respective classes.

But, the really great part is that I was also offered a job! I will be working in the NICU at IMC! Exactly where I wanted to be. I feel so grateful, relieved, lucky, happy, excited, nervous.... well, you get the drift. It seems kind of crazy that they are really going to let me work as a nurse; and even better, they're going to pay me for it!

Gullible?

I was talking to Peter about how tomorrow is my last day of school.... EVER! Well, at least until the foreseeable future. I reminded him that I still have to take a couple tests tomorrow, but he said those were just going to be a breeze. He then described the tests as "a kite in the wind, an astronaut on the moon."

I had never heard these phrases. But, I figured it could be another age difference issue. The kite in the wind one kind of made sense, but I questioned the astronaut one. I mentioned that it took us a while to get astronauts on the moon; that I wouldn't consider that an easy feat. 

Of course, Peter then made fun of me for never having heard those phrases. And, of course, I made fun of him for being old and using such weird phrases that no one uses anymore.

Then, Peter starts laughing super hard and admits that he made the phrases up! Unfortunately, this is not the first time something like this has happened.

I'm sure it won't be the last.

3rd Engagement Anniversary

Peter proposed to me on April 2, 2010 on a sail boat on Utah Lake. Afterwards, we called our parents and went out to dinner at Red Lobster. 

I realize that it is not April 2nd, but when you have a coupon to Red Lobster that expires on March 31st, you pretend that it is April 2nd.

Lobster fest is too good.

As we were sitting there, Peter made the observation that the average age of the customers was probably 65 years old. And, it was 6 pm when we got there, not 4:30! Oh well, I guess that means we have mature taste?

So glad this guy wanted to marry me.

Church, Church and more Church

Peter and I live a very glamorous and exciting life. Two weeks ago, we got to go to a Boy Scouts training called "Little Philmont" on Friday night and most of the day Saturday. Apparently the real Philmont is pretty cool. It's a week long camp in New Mexico where you take your family and do all kinds of fun activities. I'm not sure why this was called Little Philmont because it was basically nothing like that.

It was pretty interesting, but it was mostly geared toward the Boy Scouts, so a lot of the information did not necessarily apply to me. There were a couple of good sessions where we gave ideas about Cub Scouts and how to integrate the Faith in God program into the weekly meetings. I decided that's what I would focus on since that's the Primary's responsibility.

My very first Scouting badge... hopefully I don't collect too many of these over the years.

Cub Scouts is sort of my least favorite thing about being the Primary President. (And, now that I've said that, I've basically sealed my fate on what my next calling will be.) I just really don't like the production of scouts. The skits that no one can hear because the boys are so embarrassed they whisper their lines, the cheesy cheers, etc. I do think the scouting program can be effective, I just wish it was simpler. And that I didn't get in trouble for not buying and wearing a 40 dollar shapeless, brown shirt to the meetings.

For our date night this past weekend, we went to the Saturday night adult session of Stake Conference. Peter and I had been asked to sing with two other couples, so we were there an extra hour. We basically just live at the Church these days. (A funny side note, when I told Peter that we were going to sing, he said, "I'm not." in a very matter of fact way. He was under the impression that it was just the two of us singing. I was able to convince him when I said there would be two other men singing the same part as him. Thanks to Mom and Dad Jones for making him go to choir all those years growing up!)

The only redeeming thing about all these Church meetings is that I actually get to sit next to Peter. Here's to Stake Conference in another six months!

4 Days

Oh, how I wish I would have written this post on Friday.

Friday
Friday was a great day. I took a test. And, finally, it was positive.

The happiness. The excitement. The joy. Neither Peter or I could wipe the smiles off our faces. What we want more than anything was actually happening.

We called our parents and they added to the excitement.

Only 4 weeks. We're educated, we knew the risks.

But the test was positive. And what a relief that was. We could get pregnant. One of my greatest fears was conquered. I have a new greatest fear.

It was difficult to keep the secret from our friends at lunch. From people at church.

Monday
I made my first prenatal appointment. The excitement continued.

Tuesday
I woke up to blood. Lots of it.

The shock. The horror. The sadness. As intense, perhaps more intense, than the other feelings.

I was sad, but I took comfort in the fact that it happened overnight. I didn't have to suffer through the process.

If only that had been the case. A full day of cramping, bleeding, weeping. And trying to hide it. No one could know.


Everything was fine. And then, it just wasn't anymore.

The whole experience seems so surreal. Was I even pregnant? Yes, I saw the test. And the signs. The very obvious signs. Hello, boobs that doubled in size and tenderness. And eating every two hours and still being ravenous at the end of two hours.

We knew of the pregnancy for 4 days. Hardly any time at all. But, somehow, that doesn't make any of this any easier. I've now lost a child.

But, did I really lose a child? I was pregnant for 4 1/2 weeks. The baby didn't have a heartbeat, yet. It's hard to not know what happens to that baby. I've been struggling with questions such as, "At what point does the spirit enter the body?" If I had been 6 weeks along, I would say that  I absolutely lost a child. A tiny little baby with its own heartbeat.

Some might say that I shouldn't be sad because I only knew about this baby for 4 days. But, therein lies the heartache. Those 4 days were much too short.

Written on February 28

Peter funnies

Today we had Stake Conference and one of the counselors in the Stake Presidency had presented names of men who were to receive the Melchezidek Priesthood for a sustaining vote. He then proceeded to give the information of men who had been ordained Elders or High Priests since the previous conference, which included Peter. As he read Peter's name, he started to stand up, but he hadn't been asked to stand, so I grabbed his suit coat and pulled him back down. Phew. Dodged a bullet on that one.

We received some peanut m & m's as a gift and as we were eating them, Peter mentioned that the chocolate tasted different. They were the Easter colors, so I thought maybe he was thinking of that. A few minutes later, Peter says, "Wait! These are peanut m & m's?" Apparently he can't tell the difference between chocolate and peanuts....

For how smart Peter is, he sure does do some silly things. 

Grateful

I am trying to find optimism and to be grateful in this time of waiting for and wanting of children. It is kind of hard.

But, today, I am grateful that Peter and I could go to the temple last night and spend 4 hours together without a thought of getting a babysitter.

Motherhood

I want so much to be a mother. It is really all I have ever wanted. As I look at mothers, I just hope they know how lucky they are to be holding sweet babies and naughty toddlers.

My arms and heart literally ache when I think of holding my own baby (hopefully lots of babies over the years).

It's all I dream about. Holding my own baby. Watching Peter holding our baby. I had a very distinct dream last night that I had twins. I remember watching my parents watch Peter with our babies. I remember them telling me how lucky I was to have him to help me. 

I am lucky to have Peter. To have him as my partner, and someday, as my co-parent. 

Someday, these dreams will come true. 

Valentine's Skiing

For Valentine's Day this year, Peter and I went skiing. Oh, how things change. A few years ago, I NEVER would have wanted to go skiing, especially not on Valentine's Day. I think Shannon said it best, "You know it's true love when someone can convince a Keddington girl to go skiing."

But, with that said, I really do enjoy it. I am a bit particular on what I think consists of a good day, though. It can't be too cold, too crowded, too icy, no moguls, etc. 

We went to the Canyons this time and we had a lot of fun. They have a run that starts at 10,000 feet. Oh boy, it was high up. And I am afraid of heights. Peter wanted to take a picture of us up there, which was fair enough because the view was spectacular, but he just kept backing up closer to the edge of the mountain. I made him come away from it before I would go stand by him.

Anyways, from this lift, there were only black diamond or double black diamond runs to take you down. Obviously, I wasn't going to do any double black diamonds, so we only had one option. Unfortunately, this run had moguls (see above disclaimer). Lucky for Peter, because I would not have been pleasant, this run was wide enough that I could just take a really flat angle and cut across the moguls. I thought we had gotten past the bad part when we got to the edge of a mountain where we couldn't see the bottom. I went to the edge and looked down to see a mountain that was almost straight down AND had moguls. I was not pleased. But, I just decided to get it over with. (After I let the people behind us go because I don't like it to be crowded.) Long story short, I basically slid down that mountain on my butt. It was quite the adventure. 

These first photos are at the top of my favorite run (no moguls, not crowded). The view was spectacular.  

These two photos are at an elevation 10,000 feet. Notice how far we are from the edge of the mountain.

And this is a picture of the mogul mountain. It really does not do it justice. But, I survived!

I may enjoy skiing, but I don't think I'm black diamond material.